Chapter 1

It was one fine morning on 1980 January 12 that Jaan’s world came crashing down. She had suddenly transformed from a girl to a women on that day. It was on the very same day she met Benjamin for the first time. Two events with similar effects on her life- both plagued her existence. It was barely 6 a.m. in the morning, a Sunday too. Jaan was quite in the mood and woke up early because she had it all planned in her mind. She would go with Elikkutty to watch a movie, the most thrilling part of which was nobody knew their plans.

There was something quite liberating about doing things that made you happy, without least caring about what others thought. But a partner in crime is always necessary because in case you get caught you need someone to share the guilty with. Elikkutty was the most suitable person for the pursuit of doing things like this. She always enjoyed the thrills of doing things in secret. Though she had plenty of tapioca in her field, she always found it intoxicating to steal the tapioca from someone else’s field. Her claim was that it tasted better because she had put in an effort to scurry it out.

The process of stealing tapioca is quite interesting. Jaan always stood guard while she dug into the soil with both her hands. Once she was successful she held the tapioca up like a trophy for Jaan to see, her dark brown eyes shining with pride and her cheeks pink from the toil. Watching her through the evening rays of the sun always made Jaan realise how beautiful she was and how ugly she herself was.

Elikkutty was tall and fair, with big eyes brimming with thick lashes and a head full of silk smooth hair. There was a completeness to the way she looked as if every proportion just turned out right, whereas Jaan looked like an incomplete portrait with all the imperfections just poking right to the face. However Elikkutty had always told to wait for “the day” and then things would change for Jaan. Never in her wildest dreams had she that the day would be today.

To Jaan, today was special because of the impending excitement that kept bubbling upon the thought of watching the movie. She was about to wake up ,when her mother came, breathless, with a cup of coffee in her hand. She was yelling at the top of her voice and it became difficult for Jaan to understand. The only thing she understood was that they were having guests and Jaan should help her in the kitchen. Rest of the details was not very clear. But she was happy because guests were a great way of distracting her mother. She would be fully absorbed in making them comfortable while Jaan could slip away. Nobody would notice her absence. So she went down cheerfully to help her mother in the kitchen.

Her mother was describing the guests in the same breathless manner as before to the servants. Somebody was coming and that somebody was important. This much was understandable. There was one more person she should take care of – her older brother Jagath. Jag was a 26 year old man with the brain of a 6 year old. He still enjoyed playing tricks on Jaan, it was only yesterday she was fooled by him on account of an invisible extra terrestrial animal which  he managed to trap in a glass jar.His acting was so perfect she actually heard the empty jar talking back to Jag. The least desirable behaviour from Jag was the display of his ugly pheromones to attract Elikkutty, as if she would fall for him. Anyways getting past him was assured by Elikkutty by distracting him.

Her string of thoughts was cut across by a hot beating from her mother. The guests had arrived and mother was asking her to follow her with the snack tray. It was unlike mother to trust her with something as important as the tea tray. Jaan picked up the tray and followed her mother expecting a bus full of guests, judging by the plenteous delicacies that were made.

Jaan’s jaw dropped on reaching the living room, because there were only two people, two men in the room. She looked expectantly at the doorway, but no, that was it. All this toil for these two men. Actually a man and a boy. The man did not look like a native. He seemed to be foreign. The boy was tall and athletic with fair skin and blonde curls. His face had an unfathomable expression as though he was forced to come there.

There, it happened again, Jaan was lost in thoughts and the snack tray was left unserved until her mother pinched her out of her dreams. She left the snack tray on the table. The man introduced himself as John, happened to be Jaan’s father’s friend and the boy was his son, Benjamin. It was hard to believe that a man like uncle John with such a friendly demeanor had a grumpy son like Benjamin. Not even during his introduction had he lifted his head or looked at Jaan.

Anyways, Jaan was the least bit interested in him and was already on her way to slip out, when her father caught her and said “Jaan, why don’t you take Benny around our fields and plantation, I think he couls enjoy a bit of fresh air.” Jaan wished she would be struck by lightning rather than entertaining an indifferent stranger like Benjamin, that too by sacrificing her opportunity to have fun with Elikkutty. But her father’s words were the final word and she was in no position to oppose. Her only hope was that, maybe, this boy would refuse. So she put on an innocent face and said, “Oh, father look at how tired Benny is, I doubt he would be able to enjoy the long walks”.

Jaans mind voice was scolding her”Why did you just call a total stranger by a nick name”?

Jaan thought to herself, Benny, yeah, whatever..

Her father was just about to agree, when Benjamin opened his mouth, “I am not tired and I wish to go out”. Now, Jaan was really trapped. She cursed the timing chosen by Elikkutty to distract Jag. Now Elikkutty was trapped with Jag and herself with this Benjamin boy. Being trapped with Jag seemed a better scenario of the two. Jaan was determined that after this trip, never again will Benjamin have the courage to take a trip with her.

She walked ahead without a word and Benjamin followed. She took the dirtiest paths of all to lead him to the coffee plantations. The uphill journey exhausted her and she laughed to herself thinking how tired Benjamin would be, being a well bred boy, born in perhaps a gold cocoon. As they reached the plantation, she stopped for a minute to catch her breath and turned around to look at Benjamin. She could not believe her eyes. Not only did he show any signs of fatigue, he was as fresh as dew drops on the touch me not plant during mornings. Seeing her fatigue he asked her “would you like to sit down for a bit?”

Her pride was hurt. Here she was, trying to take it out on him for interrupting her plans and the one who got punished was herself. She sat down on the grass in silence without replying to him. He sat down beside here and she felt his gaze on her. She lifted her eyes and scanned his face. Was he older than her, that can’t be the case. Maybe they were of the same age.

As though he read her thoughts, he said, “I am sixteen, how about you?” His voice was deep and clear. She was a bit taken aback by the closeness of his voice in her ears. It was as though she could smell him. She replied, “me too”. Jaan asked “can you smell it?” He closed his eyes and took a moment to draw in all the air. Jaan felt like there was no air left for her to breathe, this thought made her giggle and he opened his eyes.

He said, “yes I can feel it, it’s coffee right?”, and he added, “I understand that you took me here as a punishment but I enjoyed the walk up here, and this smell is just so relaxing”.

Jaan was taken aback and she said in a haughty tone,

” How vile of you to think like that when I brought you to the most beautiful place in the neighbourhood.”

“Is that so, do you think I am foolish enought not to notice that you took the long crooked way around, when there was clearly a straight path leading to this place.”

Jaan stood up to walk away when something unexpected happened. Benjamin jumped up and stopped her by blocking her. Jaan was confused. Benjamin’s face went paper white and he was literally begging her not to go. Jaan asked him

“what is the matter with you?” she shoved him aside and moved forward.

He instantly pulled her back towards him and he was clearly struggling to form some word, any word. Only his hot breath fell on her face, while his mouth twisted so many ways trying to form a word.

Jaan began sweating and the pain that started in her stomach a little while ago began to increase. Benjamin finally mustered courage and spoke,

“Jaan, you have got blood on your skirt”

Jaan felt like fainting, she wished to be sucked into the earth so that she wouldn’t have to reply him. Ofcourse, she had had the talk with her mother who was impatiently waiting for her box to tick red. But fate had it totally wrong. She was on the top of a mountain, with a stranger, and she was in her most vulnerable state. She wanted to punish him and she got punished instead. She wanted to see her mother or her brother at the least. She did not know what to do, huge drops of tears fell down her cheeks, she felt so embarrassed to look at him.

That is when it happened, Benjamin pulled her close to him and hugged her, patted her back and said, “It’s alright, there is nothing to worry about. This happens to every girl, it is just a normal way of life. I will get you home safe. Now wipe your tears”.

He broke loose and Jaan felt a new confidence in him. He no longer seemed like the grumpy stranger. She could feel the kindness and patience in his sea blue eyes. He removed his coat and asked her to tie it around her waist. He took her hands and led the way back home. It was a long walk and when they reached the front, he said that they should take the back door. She hurried to her room and before closing the door of her room she said

” Thank you Benjamin, I am relieved to think that you were with me when this happened. I will never forget your kindness”.

For a second Jaan saw Benjamin’s cheek turning a deep shade of pink, and without a word he walked away..

PC: Pexels (Quang Ngyuyen Vinh)